These Lonely Nights

These nights sitting here alone are the nights that are slowly killing me. These nights when your voice and essence are so far away are the nights that cause me to lose my sanity piece by piece. These nights when I don't hear from you are the nights when I cry myself to sleep.

Without hearing from you I simply cannot function. These long, cold, lonely nights are constant reminders of what life is like without you near. When you are gone all I want to do is sleep because my dreams are the only thing that connect you and me. Lying there, willing myself to sleep, it's honest to God one of the hardest things I have to face. Sure these dreams bring me closer to you but I worry too much about you to sleep. I know you are simply busy slaving away but who knows what could happen to you at any point in time. However, that doesn't explain the feeling I have as I force the slumber upon me. It's more than the fact that I'm worried. It's the fact that my deepest fear is living in front of me, engulfing me. I'm alone.

Love, I am beyond tired of these tears being shed. I know that it hurts you when you see that I have been crying. I know that the last thing you ever want to do is hurt me and to cause me this constant pain i feel in your absence. You must believe me when I say it is not you that causes this hole and this pain. It is the fear of losing you and never having the chance to be by your side. I'm not a religious girl but I do have faith. I have faith that we will be together- someday. I may not attend church on Sunday or thank God before each meal and I may have broken almost every commandment, but these lonely nights, when I'm tossing and turning while my face is buried in my tear drenched pillow, I send a silent prayer asking for just one chance no matter the price to if even for only a moment feel your skin brush against mine.

These lonely nights are the nights that are slowly killing me. These lonely nights when you are so far away from me are making me go insane. These lonely nights are the nights tears and eyeliner smear my pillow.